I’ve got the blues since yesterday. I seem to be redefining the art of doing nothing now, because it should be something pleasant, creative and calorific. Not me, who has built a cosy corner for herself on self-loathing, and a general resignation towards the state of the world. And not eating while doing it. I mean, I couldn’t buy bananas and my fave pomegranates yesterday, because 500 rupee notes can no longer be used in India. I did buy oranges, but even that is a problematic fruit now, given the powerful human who resembles its complexion.
Let’s get the self-absorbed reasons for having the blues out of the way first. Like most people, I’ve had a sh*tty year. I’ve been to six different doctors, for six different ailments. I got surgery. I’ve had a stressful time at work. I’ve written much less. I’ve gone MONTHS without watching films, which is something I’ve never experienced before. I’ve been overweight. I’ve had acne. I’ve had people give me a tough time because of my weight and acne. I’ve given myself a tough time by trying to cope with it all through overeating. I’ve been stuck in a musical rut. I could not send in a manuscript on time. That’s all I can remember right now. Oh, wait. Did you know, Indian readers, that a Cadbury Celebrations box costs 20 rupees more than the items inside? It’s an outrage!
We never have and never will get political here, but I can’t help wanting to share my disappointment at the state of things. Things like the human orange, and 500 rupee and 1000 rupee notes being no longer usable in India. Today, I heard of Leonard Cohen’s passing. It’s like the Sun has put on a blue business suit, had a weird, straw-like combover and pointed a finger towards the Earth to say, “You’re fired.” We’ve been bad at doing our business, fellow earthlings. It’s time we tried to be good again.
We can’t just blow it all off and go and have fun. Well, I am going out to have fun tomorrow, but further than that. The only way we can get over our collective blues is by doing the things we really want to do, and should be doing. I should have sent that manuscript on time. Who knows, I could have become a published author, or be perfectly happy with a constructive rejection letter. We’ve felt helpless this year, passively watching all the terrible things happening to us. We can’t undo them, but we can make good things happen too.
Things have been so busy at work, I didn’t get any time to think until yesterday. And all I could do was lie all day long, under a blanket, and moan at the world going to pot. And being disappointed in myself, because I didn’t have cash to buy fruit. It was finally this afternoon, when I did go to the bank to see scores of people similarly dejected, to feel better. We’re all in this together, folks, if I may go a little High School Musical. I didn’t get cash, but I did get samosas.
Every cloud may have a silver lining, but sometimes your eyes can get so blurred, you don’t know where to look for it. You can’t blame your glasses. You just have to ask people to point in its direction. And if you see that silver lining as blurred, good for you. That means you see more of it than other people. The point of this metaphor is, sometimes it’s good to be blurred. Dim. Clueless. You don’t get as offended or angry as the sharp. You spend your time thinking about the things that really matter. Things that you can actually do something about.
Have you had the blues? How have you been trying to deal with it?