Dear Of Opinions Readers,
I hope you’ve had a great September. I hope you have exciting things to look forward to in October. It’s festive season here in India, and there are exciting things to look forward to, whether you feel excited enough for them or not. I, in addition to the festivities, am also looking forward to surgery. Let me rewind a little.
I’ve been AWOL for a while here, and that is down to two things: I haven’t written anything, anything of any kind, anything that I would remotely allow myself to make up, let alone exist, because I’ve just not been in the state of mind and body to do it. Now, I’m always sickly anyway, and I often have to make myself do things I don’t feel like doing (like most people who want to get on in this world) but all my writing output, as evidenced by the grumbly, ranty and in-pain posts earlier this month, that I can make myself do is not up to par, however low that par can sometimes be for me. I know you will kindly tell me that I should not do it, health comes first etc., but writing, doing something with interest, is part of being healthy, and not doing it does feel like something’s really wrong.
But, anyway, I’ve still chosen not to do it, given by my last, written-in-a-state, update. I’m sure writing can still qualify as an extreme sport if you want to make it (anyone tried writing with a pen whilst bungee jumping?) but I’d rather write something more than what is bound to be crap. Which is why I’ve not replied to your comments and messages either, because I wanted to give you more than just a ‘like’ or a generic ‘thank you’. Not replying is certifiably rude, of course, and someone who prides herself for her manners should never falter in this department. But, it’s only because I want to please, to engage and not merely dismiss with a stale response those who’ve taken the time to engage with me. Some of you may know my abhorrence for superficial expressions like “Best Wishes”, and I don’t want to be the Best Wishes kind of person. Ever.
This whole month has been a blur of pain, meds, doctors and tests and I think the latest diagnosis might be the right one. I’ve never had surgery before, and I’m trying not to panic, but looking forward to what I’ll do in the healing time instead. I’ve hardly been able to keep up with my mail, or personal correspondence via text and phone, so I hope you’ll forgive me for not being here. I consider you to be my friends, and I miss chatting with you, you reading my thoughts, me reading yours, and I hope we’ll be back to normal ASAP.
Thank you very much again for your thoughts and wishes. I really hope I’ll be back to essaying soon.