It’s interesting how the WordPress word processor here on the app has a ‘Share Your Story Here…’ written on it. What is my story, and would I really be sharing it? I never call myself a cynic, but even I’m doubtful about the sharing part. Because, sharing is a two-way street. I can’t just put something out there and not have anything that’s congruent to it not come back. That’s not sharing. That’s speaking loudly in a hollow space with no tympanums around.
I’ve been in pain for the last ten days. That’s the one-line story right now, my story, that could have been tweeted instead. Oh, the questions it might evoke in the possible sharee. What pain? Emotional pain, the kind every other person seems to go on about because it’s okay to say it now? Physical pain? What are we talking here – hospitals or just a paracetamol fix?
And the thing is, I don’t know. What an interesting story that was, huh? There’s pain, so we have the ‘conflict is drama’ part covered. It’s been ten days, so that’s a change from normal, which a great way to start. But what happens in Act 2? And are we doing a Shavian three-act with humour and philosophy or a whole Shakespearean five-act, complete with delectable lines and layered characters?
See, in case I survive this and have a writing career (I’d exchange the writing career for health right now, like sort of a reverse Faustian pact) I don’t think I’ll write a memoir. Of any kind. I am an essayist, which technically makes it possible, but I’m still never doing it. I don’t want to share my story. I’m not interested in my story.
Sometimes, I think writers write just to be heard. You know of the pompous ones who won’t sign copies or take pictures with you at a convention unless you pay for it, but I’m not talking about them. I’m talking about the writer who just wants to write. Figure out that part before moving on to professionalism. Why aimlessly pick up your phone, aimlessly swipe left and right, aimlessly click on WordPress to aimlessly discover notifications piling up to aimlessly click on the orange pen + lines button to see what happens. Is that all I need to share my story? Just an orange button?
You’re just setting yourself up for dissatisfaction. That’s why you have more practical goals, like 250k words in a 6 months from now deadline or something. You can’t finish your story at the 250, 000th word. Your story finishes when you are finished. That’s a rather long draft and you better have someone else press Publish.
Writers just want to be heard. Not liked, not commented upon. Holding your attention span for as long as the piece is, is enough. The rest is just wishful thinking, because you can’t imagine yourself in an office situation forever, and would rather have a desk that allows your head to be in the clouds.
P.S. For all those who wrote to me post my last post (unintentional pun there), I’m sorry I haven’t been able to get back to you. I really appreciate your thoughts and wishes. Thank you.