I never thought I’d say this about my own blog, but an essay seems long overdue. And since I can’t think of any that are relatively light, I’ve decided to go with the good old Real Time Ramble. This is my invention, duly patented by the amorphous ways people copyright their material on the blogosphere. In other words, it is my lazy blogger’s guide to blogging: write whatever you like, even without a topic, for half an hour, within which you should have edited, tagged and hit Publish. And because you’d call it a #RealTimeRamble, it will seem like a totally hip, social media thing to do. Even if it was conceived by a totally unhip social media person, i.e. moi.
I’ve been having a real identity crisis lately. So many things are lying around, either underdeveloped or overcooked, I don’t know who I am anymore. I won’t even begin to talk about NaNoWriMo, something I was so enthusiastic about a week ago. I won’t ever admit to you that I’ve long given up on it, with the insatiable optimist in me thinking I’ll catch up before November ends. No, we won’t discuss that subject at all, or what happened to my characters in the coffee shop in the romance novel I was writing. No, no, I won’t put myself through that horror, shame and embarrassment, when so many of you should have already finished your novels by now. Here’s a meek, whimpering congratulations from me to you. Unlike me, you totally deserve it.
Well, I haven’t totally given up writing for fun. This blog maybe having an identity crisis, where whoever has visited it in the last two months must be wondering why it is called ‘Of Opinions – The Culture Blog‘. Uh, all I see is some amateur love poetry. I don’t understand it myself. I feel possessed by another, for I was never this emotionally expressive in anything I write. Not that much of that poetry has been very emotionally expressive. The spirit that’s possessed me seems to go about it as a child who is learning to rhyme and string words together which sometimes make sense. There’s nothing inspired here, that the well-worn intellectual side of this blog(ger) would say. I like to be in control of things. Of how I present my thoughts and my blog as a whole. It seems to have run away from me now. And re-invented itself, as popstars feel obligated to do. Aaaahhh!
While I don’t know why I’ve been writing poetry, I do know why I’ve been avoiding essays. My book of essays based on Of Opinions, has been lying around finished, except for a couple of essays. One is called Of Being A Hopeless Romantic, and the other is one which all essayists in history have been obligated to do, Of Love. I can’t imagine the book being complete without them, and I can’t imagine what to write for them. Maybe that’s where the poetry comes from, but I don’t know if it has helped much. I’ve been a helpless romantic instead all this time, but I do hope that means there is a finished, published book at the end of it.
The other thing is, I’ve been really tired of writing essays. I wrote so much for the book from June to October, I wanted a break from it. I don’t know how much my blog suffered, or if anybody at all has missed them. If stats are anything to go by, clearly the answer is no. One thing I find interesting is how spare my poetry is, compared to my essay-writing. I haven’t mastered the haiku yet, but they are considerably brief, even for me. I don’t know if it will influence my essay-writing, but I could do with some brevity. As Shakespeare said, that is the “soul of wit”, and I could do with both soul and wit to have some sort of a writing career.
How has writing in general been for you in November? Excuse the self-absorbed inquisition here, but do you miss my essays?