And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make. – “The End”, The Beatles
I’ve been mildly considering going to a shrink lately. But, due to bad experiences before, I am in great doubt. I would love to tell a therapist I have issues with trusting people, except that includes therapists. The whole act of seeking therapy seems like an arranged marriage to me. I have no idea who the person is on the other end, but I am to implicitly trust them with my deepest secrets, sources of shame and pain, hopes, dreams, misgivings et cetera. In short, my world. I even have to pay them to listen to me, this time hoping they provide me with more substantial answers than telling me to change my handwriting.
As Tina Turner would say if she read the last paragraph, “What’s love got to do with it?” Well, I believe that is the primary source of the problem. The above quote was the last thing The Beatles sang that was recorded while all four members were alive.* A couple of years before, they recorded “All You Need is Love”. That had been my undisputed mantra for life even before I became aware of the song. This quote, however, has always bothered me. I’ve progressed from the second half of the quote, i.e. creating love without thinking much about receiving it, to “Uh, how much is a fair exchange?”
Of course, all that is just maturity and a natural response to life experiences etc., etc.. But, I have to say, putting a foot forward blindly and just doing the loving part that comes so naturally when you are young, is infinitely a healthier state to be in. It might cause much misery, but still. I know it now, after being careful for quite some time. I know this will seem like bragging, and I have to pretend not to care when I know you will interpret this as bragging but, here goes: I am rather good at the creating love part. In fact, I am bloody brilliant. Par excellence.
It’s just the taking love bit that confuses me. I don’t know how to do it right. Like many, I’ve often received the short end of the stick, especially when I needed it for a special occasion. However, pop psychology now tells me, there are people who don’t know how to take love. Could I, a creature who is so well at creating it, be unable to take it when it does come my way? Why and what would make me such an idiot?
And here I was telling you about having trust issues with a therapist. I am trusting the internet with my problems.
As much as I love and admire The Beatles beyond most things I have ever known, I disagree with them, at least for now. You know, for the time I’m alive. Only in the end will I know whether,
Love I Took = Love I Made
For now, I am confident, the equation is much, much skewed towards the right. And, I don’t have the slightest doubt in the world, that that is right.
Do you feel the love you make is equal to the love you take?
*This is off the Abbey Road album that was recorded last by the still alive four-piece, even if Let It Be was released later. Post the death of John Lennon, the other three members, including George Harrison before his passing, recorded using samples of John Lennon’s unfinished songs for the Anthology album, such as the single, “Free as a Bird”.