It is a little formidable to write an “about me” type of a post when I have just started a blog. Okay, it’s a lot more formidable to have to write a post all about yourself, without a specific context. We talk about ourselves all the time, hear our own thoughts for most of it and will inevitably assess and size ourselves up whenever we feel like it. The problem is, how can you put it in words without showing yourself to be too humble or too vain? Because, let’s face it, we always want to be liked. Being liked and hopefully loved keeps the stress levels down. No matter how brave the subject matter, we always write to impress. It would help if human beings were programmed to look at themselves objectively. Life would have been much,much easier. One of those annoying questions that self-help gurus ask is, “What advice would you give yourself if you were someone else?” Well, I have tried. I really, seriously have. But to come up with an answer is impossible. We are all better at being empathetic, helpful creatures, giving advice to whoever we can. But we are clueless when it comes to ourselves. I mean, I try to make the right decisions or at least be aware of what I am doing right and wrong. But I have a sneaking suspicion that if I’d have the ability to look at myself from someone else’s perspective, I’d have pitied myself a little, saying, “there goes a girl with her head in the clouds that never noticed the decaying ground beneath her feet.”
But I’m not as bad as that! I will still try to give a sort of idea of myself (though the above statement has narrowly summed it). What’s more, I will do it Spaghetti Western style. Clint Eastwood’s The Good, The Bad and The Ugly(actually it should be the director’s The Good…. but I’ve forgotten his name). So, even if I haven’t filled up the “about me” section of my blog as yet, here I go anyway:
I am non-judgemental. I am just so grateful to have this quality as it saves me tons of energy from gossiping. I do notice and observe people. And of course, there are people, like my friends and family, that I know very well. But, I never let the quirks of anyone bother me. I am okay with people being as they are and don’t get irritated. This also makes me quick to forgive. And I never tend to criticize anyone to their faces either.
I love pop art. It is the centre of my existence, the fuel that has kept me going all my life. That has made me survive. My biggest goal and necessity in life is just to have the kind of life style that allows me to be in the vicinity of art.
In connection with the above, it doesn’t take much to make me happy. I could be in a daze over a song or a film for days on end and that would just make everything else bearable.
I love humour. I don’t watch reality TV and I must say that I don’t watch much heavy stuff either. I enjoy comedy and more than any other genre in any art form, that’s what I go for. I couldn’t tell you a joke if you asked me to out of the blue, and that isn’t my favourite type of comedy either. I like situational, incidental(even accidental) comedy. I also try to instill humour, even in the smallest dose(say, a witty remark in a serious situation) and though it doesn’t always work, it relaxes me and sometimes those around me.
I smile at people. I still practice manners I was taught in school. I guess I’m old-fashioned. By now you must be thinking I’m at least 75 years old but, I’m not. I’m half a century away from there. (I’m 125.)
I’m a peace-loving person. I never argue or confront people and very rarely show my temper. I’m also not good at articulating myself in such situations(I am a gob of mumbled mess.) and so live in fear of them.
1. I think there is too much bad in me. Not active, evil bad but passive failures.
2. I am a perfectionist. And there is no such thing in real life. We all can make things better in retrospect, but for now, this is as good as we can do. And yet I can never get that in my head.
I am not a creature of habit. I wish I was the kind of person who could devise time-tables and routines and stick to them. But no, I can’t even start. Hence, despite trying for years, since 2005 I think, I’ve never been an active blogger.
I am extremely passive. I wouldn’t say I was lacking in courage or initiative. But reacting to things comes much more naturally to me than stepping on the gas. Most of all, I wish I was, as Dorothy Parker said, one of Those Who Do Things.
I don’t always stand up for myself. I think this comes from the whole peace-loving nature that I seem to have. When I look back, I think of the countless times I’ve been bullied without even realizing it. I do stand up for other people when I can summon the courage. But, I don’t know why I can never do it for myself.
And The Ugly
1)I find that as I get older, especially since I left uni, I’ve gotten a little mean. Mean as not being mean to other people, but mean as in amplified envy. I can still feel happy for other people’s successes but sometimes, and for specific people, I do feel a sense of injustice, which stems from vanity. I have never been competitive, but it just gets harder to forgive your failures when they are on the grand scale of life. However, I live in hope that once I bounce back this quality will soon be gone.
And that’s it really. I am more or less okay with my outer appearance. I have curly, black hair. My hair has its own personality and is always not congruous to mine, but we try to make it work. I had a recent bout of stress-related acne but its all cleared up now. I am moderately slim and I don’t have any weight-related issues. I found it hard to list a distinguishing mark on my passport application which means that I look quite undistinguished. (I hope to put up an avatar soon so you be the judge.) And there you go. Time for me to go back and put my head in the clouds.